Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A Cautionary Snow Tale

Not all winter storms produce cuddly snow creatures like giant ladybugs and yet-to-be-described species of morel.  Some storms bring forth creatures so vile that none dare speak their names.  This was the unfortunate case with Winter Storm Rocky.

The day started out as usual for any major snow event in Columbia, Missouri.  I woke to the faint sound of plows moving snow off the the main roads, leaving our sleepy little street untouched.  This sound was soon replaced with the whir and spin of various small vehicles stuck in the slush and ice outside of our apartment.  Winter Storm Rocky tried its best to show up Winter Storm Q, but fell slightly short.  Only once, in the wee hours of the snowy morning, did I hear the sound of Thundersnow.  An honorable attempt, however.

Winter Storm Rocky's meager offerings
As I said, the day started out as usual.  The dog, to his dismay, was walked and he decided quite firmly that there was no suitable real estate to properly conduct the business of the hour.

Marmaduke says "No way"
 There was a minor amount of snow hi-jinx and frolicking by the members of the household. 

Sarah, demonstrating proper snow-frolic technique
Anthony, full frolic

It was during mid-frolic that Winter Storm Rocky made its true intentions known.  The care-free snow-frolickers were set upon by a denizen-of-the-snow-so-vile-none-dare-to-speak-its-name (Dotssvndtsin, for short). 
The horror that is Dotssvndtsin

They say that a person who looks into the coal-black eyes of Dotssvndtsin is never the same again. 

Don't you listen?  Don't look directly into the eyes of Dotssvndtsin.
The frolickers put up a decent fight, but were no match for this snowy juggernaut of doom.
No amount of snow angels can protect one from the icy grasp of Dotssvndtsin.

Dotssvndtsin, impervious even to formidable winter weapons such as the snow shovel.

There is no telling when or where Dotssvndtsin may appear.  All it takes is a bit of snow and a dash of tree debris.  Some say the carrot nose is the key to the demise of the Dotssvndtsin, but nobody has ever lived long enough to test that theory.  Next time you are out in the snow, keep warm and watch your back...
No snow people or real people or dogs were harmed in the making of this blog.


  1. And my wife says that I have too much time on MY hands!!!

  2. haha.. that is awesome.. we are gonna miss you guys around here

    1. Why thanks! We're only a meager 8 hours away, I know we'll be back to Columbia for this and/or that.

  3. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.

    1. 'Tis the least I can do; this is serious business.